All Those Books of His
by Kmikaze KAtie AAPPG 42
Summary: A Dedicated tribute to the late, great Douglas Adams, Author of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Series who died while Working out at the Gym. A Parody of
1. Default Chapter

I can read your mind **__**

All those Books of His

I can read your mind,  
Like I read his stories  
I'm going through the same thing as you, yeah  
It's an uphill climb  
And I'm feeling sorry   
Knowing there will be nothing new, yeah

Just remember   
The books by him  
And He won't be gone 

When you want it the most  
There will be no new book out  
No one wanted him to go  
about that there's no doubt  
Just keep reading his books  
And remember how much you love them  
All those books of his 

When you question me   
For a why of finding a new one,  
I say go to Ebay, yeah  
But it's plain to see  
If We stick together  
we'll find them all anyway, yeah

Just remember   
The books by him  
And He won't be gone 

When you want it the most  
There will be no new book out  
No one wanted him to go  
about that there's no doubt  
Just keep reading his books  
And remember how much you love them  
All those books of his 

When life seems empty  
there's always tomorrow  
Read as much as you can  
Baby don't worry  
Forget your sorrow  
The laughs will conquer them all. 

When you want it the most   
there will be no new books out  
no one wanted him to go to go   
about that there's no doubt  
Just keep reading his books  
And remember how much you love them

(All those books of his  
When you want it the most   
there will be no new books out  
No one wanted him to go   
about that there's no doubt)  
  
Just keep reading his books

And remember how much you love them

All those books of his  
All Those books of his  
All those books of his  
Just keep reading his books  
and remember how much you love them  
All Those books of his


	2. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own anybody. But you knew that already.  
  
Note: I'd like to point out that the Nate in all my stories is NOT the weird shaman guy that popped up after that Counter-X mess. My Nate is the one people actually used to LIKE, the one fresh out of AOA that settled down in Soho (incidentally, not too far from Psylocke & Angel). But that's my opinion talking. And, of course, if you didn't like Death and Delirium, you wouldn't be reading this anyway, right? Good. Enjoy. (This takes place after "I Can See the Music!" so if you haven't read it, prepare to be slightly confuzzled.)  
  
Summary: A single walk in the park, from four very different perspectives.   
  
The Short Title: A Walk in the Park  
  
The Ridiculously Long Title: A Walk In The Park, As Told To (or Thought Up By) Me By Four Separate But Respectable Persons, Who For Now Shall Remain Nameless  
  
  
  
It was an excellent day for ice cream, and I should know.  
  
For ten years, I've sold ice cream in this park. Oh, and the usual assorted items: ice cream sandwiches, snow cones, various popsicles, and the cup of ice cream with the gumball at the bottom. No hot dogs, no chips, and definitely no gummy worms.  
  
Just ice cream in four flavors: vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and butter pecan.  
  
As you can imagine, in between kids, things can get...boring. They usually do. But I'm a patient man, and I have to be. Selling ice cream isn't as easy as it sounds. Oh, sure, on hot days, it's a breeze. But it takes a real ice cream man to make a kid beg his mother for a triple strawberry cone. In the middle of December. While it's 20 below zero. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little.  
  
Anyway, 4:30 on Friday afternoons is the best time to sell. The kids are out of school and hungry for anything sweet. Some have had dinner, but most snuck out of the house with Dad to satisfy that annoying sweet tooth that always speaks to them an hour before dinner. The girls are the cutest, especially when they give me the sad puppy eyes. Makes the ol' ticker melt just a bit. So I have to give them an extra scoop for free. And if she's really cute, maybe two. But three would be pushing it.  
  
So there I was, reading the paper, waiting on my next customer. I've trained my ears to listen out for tiny, rapid footfalls. That way I can have The Smile prepared for my next loyal customer. I get repeats, and they know the routine.  
  
Say. Point. Look cute.  
  
In plain English, they tell me what they want, point at the picture on the side of the van, and look like a character straight out of a Disney movie until I get it for them.  
  
The routine stayed constant, more or less, for ten years. And then it was shattered, never to be followed again.  
  
I'd just served my sixty-eighth cone for the day when I first spotted them. I'd seen their type before.  
  
First, there was the young woman. She was very pale, with wild, black hair, and lips of almost the same shade. Probably one of those Goths that thought black and white were the greatest colors ever invented, I figured. She wore some kind of symbol on her shirt, but I forget what it stood for. She had a kind of instant beauty...you know, the kind where you instantly start drooling? Well, I would've, if I wasn't happily married. But she was a real looker, to say the least.  
  
Holding onto her hand was the little girl, and my next potential customer. She had the same ghostly complexion as the woman, and I figured they were either sisters or mother and daughter. From the look of the girl, she was still learning to dress herself. She wore dirty combat boots, a ballerina's tutu, and an oversized T-shirt, which proudly proclaimed, "My big sister loves me!" A green motorcycle helmet topped it all off, and I could see shocks of orange hair sticking out of the sides.  
  
Holding the girl's other hand was the young man. Most likely he was only spending time with them to seem like a nice guy. That way the kid would like him, and then the woman would like him, and then he could convince her to go out with him. I'd seen the setup a million times, and it didn't surprise me. I didn't pay him too much attention. But maybe I should've. If I did get a sale out of them, he'd probably be the one paying.  
  
So I flipped on the speaker and let the happy-fun-joy music work its magic.  
  
Instantly, the little girl spotted the van and began jumping up and down. Yup. This would either be a VERY good sale...or make one VERY embarrassing scene for her guardians, if they resisted. Kids had a habit of going into "NO-I-WANT-IT-NOW!" mode if they thought getting ice cream wasn't in the near future.  
  
Fortunately, they gave in right away, and the girl practically dragged them over to the van, where she began looking at all the tasty pictures.  
  
I decided to make conversation with the guy. Customers tended to tip better when you did that. "Nice weather, huh?"  
  
He nodded, not really agreeing, just being polite. "It's okay."  
  
Now the woman was holding the girl up so she could see the higher pictures. That was a good thing, as the most expensive items were at the top.  
  
"You must meet all kinds of interesting people out here," the woman said suddenly, looking over at me.  
  
"You could say that," I replied absently. For some reason, I was watching the girl. There was something about her face that seemed so fresh and original. Her eyes had that kind of innocence that only young kids have, and only for a short time.  
  
"Ready, sweetie?" the woman asked.  
  
The girl nodded enthusiastically.  
  
"Great. What do you want?" the guy asked.  
  
The girl looked up at me, smiled brightly, and said, "A hot dog!"  
  
Wonderful.   
  
I started to lean down and kindly explain (as I had many times before) to the cute kid that ice cream men don't sell hot dogs. Started to, anyway.   
  
But the guy gave me this look. I don't know how I knew, but he seemed to be saying, "PLEASE, Mister, just pretend to look for a hot dog or we'll all be sorry!"  
  
So I turned around and started going through the freezer. You can imagine my surprise when I came across a genuine foot-long, complete with a bun, mustard, onions, and relish. My first instinct was to faint. But I couldn't do that with a sale staring me in the face.  
  
After a few seconds, I went back to the window and delivered the hot dog.  
  
For some reason, no one looked surprised as the girl grabbed it, flashed me another smile, and tried to fit the whole thing in her mouth. The woman bent down to help her, while the guy fished out some dollars.  
  
"How much?" he asked.  
  
Single scoops were $.50, and doubles were $.75, but...what the heck was I supposed to charge for a foot-long hot dog? Finally, I shrugged and said, "A dollar even."  
  
"Oh! I want chips, too!" the girl cried, grinning at me with yellow and green lips.  
  
This time, the guy didn't have to give me a look. I just turned around, and there on the shelf, seemingly laughing at me, was a small bag of sour cream and onion chips. Without hesitation, I handed that over, too, and got another dollar for my troubles.  
  
I was stupid enough to think it was over then.  
  
I just stood there, watching the little girl take big bites out of the foot-long while the woman held it for her. The guy was sneaking chips out of the bag when no one was looking, but I had a feeling the kid wouldn't mind if she had caught him.  
  
I waited until they were done, then offered some napkins. The guy grabbed a handful and wiped the girl's mouth while the woman held her in place. It was obvious they'd done this sort of thing before. They made a very good team, in my opinion.  
  
Then the kid looked at me and said, "I want gummy worms!"  
  
I knew I didn't have any. But I looked...and found none. "Sorry, cutie. I'm fresh out of gummy worms."  
  
She poked out her bottom lip, which instantly made me feel like a horrible person. "But you gotta have some!"  
  
I looked again. No gummy worms. Damn. Here comes the tantrum. I hate those. "Look, I wish I could help you, but-"  
  
Something dropped on my head, bounced off, and fell to the floor. I looked down, somewhat surprised to see a huge bag of gummy worms at my feet.  
  
The girl was laughing now, and she sounded exactly like one of those little fairies from the cartoons. Well, the ones I remembered, anyway.  
  
I quickly grabbed the gummy worms and handed those over, too. The guy paid me five dollars (three dollars too much in my opinion, but he said the rest was tip).  
  
"Thanks, mister!" The girl pressed a hand to her mouth, made strange noises into it, and then blew me a kiss.  
  
I don't know why, but it actually felt like something wet hit me on the cheek. When I looked up, the guy was giving the little girl a piggyback ride, while the woman was doing her best not to laugh, and failing miserably. As they walked off, I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd just experienced the single most important event in my life.  
  
The feeling was gone exactly ten minutes later, when I got my next customer, who bought an ice cream sandwich.   
  
* * * * *  
  
I have a splitting headache. It's more than a migraine, I think. It's the kind that throbs with each step, breath, nod, or change in facial expression. At least my nose isn't bleeding this time.  
  
Yet, for some reason, I've never been happier.  
  
I can feel Delirium's tiny (and now sticky, thanks to the gummy worms) hands clinging to my hair. Her pale and slightly chubby (she claims it's not baby fat) legs swing back and forth, lightly thudding against my shoulders. It's making my headache worse. Finally, I reach up and hold her legs still. She doesn't protest, but now I feel the added pressure of her chin resting on top of my head. It seems she's chosen Migraine Central as her desired chin rest.  
  
Damn.  
  
But I only wince and keep walking, never saying a word. To voice my discomfort would disturb our little three-person paradise, something I'm unwilling to do.  
  
Then there's the fact that Del is the cause of my headache in the first place. She doesn't know that, of course. I'm the only reason that the ice cream man didn't freak out. Me and my telepathy (and a big tip), anyway. Just enough to keep everyone rational, though; I could never deprive Del of her choice of clothing (besides, she looks adorable in everything). Still, it's amazing how hard it is to hide a couple of floating fish and swirling colors. Well, where Del or any of the Endless is involved, anyway. Our powers don't get along so well, and they barely co-exist as it is. Hence my incredible, unstoppable headache.  
  
Del doesn't mean to be a handful, though. Not all the time, anyway. It's just her nature to be...what's the word...distracting? Well, not exactly. More like downright noticeable. I mean, who wouldn't notice a girl with fish floating around her head and daffodils sprouting up wherever she walked?  
  
Still, I think we did well for our first time in public. No one fainted, no one went into shock, and no one called the police. All good signs in my view. But then, my view's a little distorted. I'd call only one life-or-death battle in a day a good sign. It's good to be popular for another reason these days.  
  
I don't need to glance over at her to know that Death is smiling. I don't need my powers, either. I just...sense it, and know. She always seems to smile when all three of us are together. Another good sign in my book. I've always wanted a family...a REAL family. Not my alternate timeline mother (Phoenix), or my alternate timeline mother's clone (Maddie Pryor), or my alternate timeline father (Cyclops), or my alternate timeline...well...me (Cable). Just a group of people that I could belong to, and that would belong to me. I think I've found that in Death and Delirium.  
  
Okay, I know that sounded strange. But I don't care. They're the best things that ever happened to me.  
  
Suddenly, I feel a hand on my arm, and pause to look at Death.  
  
"Nate," she says quietly, looking into my eyes.  
  
"Yeah?" I ask, adjusting Del's seat on my shoulders.  
  
Death only smiles at me. "Thanks."  
  
"For what?"  
  
But she won't say. Sometimes I really wish my telepathy worked on her.  
  
* * * * *  
  
I've figured out Nate Grey's big secret: He's crazy.  
  
First, he develops a huge crush on me. Death. The one you really shouldn't see until you kick the bucket. I mean, I know I'm cute and everything, but I'm still DEATH. You're supposed to fear, despise, and avoid me for as long as you can. Not fall in love with me. But he did.  
  
Then, he became best friends with my little sister. There's nothing wrong with that. Del's a sweetheart and I love her to de-um, pieces. It's just this little fact that Del usually makes normal people go...well, not crazy, but they definitely change their perspectives a bit. But Nate's not normal, apparently. And I don't mean in the way that he's a mutant. It's his whole way of thinking. Then again, maybe it has something to do with his powers. I think I'd see things differently if I had voices in my head twenty-four hours a day.  
  
But that wasn't enough. Nate can't ask me out on a date, because he knows I'll say no. So he's figured out another way to spend time with me: Del, my one weakness. She's taken over almost every aspect of my life that isn't duty-related. All my off days haven suddenly become "Nate Days," or something close to them. The few days I don't spend with Del & Nate are usually spent with just Del...and she always finds a way to mention him.   
  
I keep telling myself that Nate isn't getting too close to us...or to me. That when it's his time, I won't be upset or majorly depressed or anything. That it won't be too hard to explain to Del that her best friend has to die one day.  
  
I tell myself a lot of things. Most of them are true.  
  
Usually.  
  
But I know I'm lying to myself. The big lug's gotten too close already. Del's so attached to him, and when she's around Nate, I could swear she was Delight again. The way she smiles, laughs, and hugs him, you might think they'd known each other since birth. And they have...since Nate's birth, anyway.  
  
And then, of course, there's the way I...feel...about him. I don't know. He's like a big kid around Del, and it's easy to see that he's living his lost childhood through her. Around me, he's nervous, calm, and hormone-driven all at once. Typical "guy-in-love" stuff. Sometimes I want to hit him for being so cute.  
  
But I'm not falling for him. I've never fallen for anyone, and I won't start now. Being a hopeless romantic is Dream's department, not mine. He's the one that's supposed to pine over lost loves and stuff. Only...I've never really been in love, so logically, I wouldn't know what it feels like.  
  
I do love Nate, though. But only for trying to treat Del like she's normal. That's hard for most people, especially with fishies flying past. Nate doesn't ignore her little quirks...he accepts them. I think he even enjoys them most of the time.  
  
It was his idea for us to go out in public. He said he wanted to show us the sights of Soho. Of course, I've seen them quite a few times, but I didn't mention that. I've never been one to spoil Del's fun. So I went along with it.   
  
I enjoyed the walk more than I thought I would. Del certainly did. Nate's reaction was...mixed. I know using his powers to mask Del was difficult. That would explain the grimace on his face during the walk back. I'm surprised he didn't pass out from exhaustion. And then I knew why he was pushing himself so hard.  
  
He wanted Del to be happy. No, he wanted US to be happy. And he was willing to ignore a serious headache for that cause.  
  
Like I said, he's crazy. And stupid. And the sweetest person (aside from Del) that I've ever met. It figures that he wouldn't be human...well, not totally.  
  
So I thanked him. He couldn't figure out why, of course. And it was hard to resist kissing his cheek when he got that little confused puppy look. I'll have to watch out for that in the future.  
  
* * * * *  
  
We had fun today!  
  
I think I sound different, and that's cuz Nate says he's playing "Disguise Del," but I dunno what he's disguising me as.  
  
Anyway, my plan worked out great! Big Sister and Nate are getting along better, and it's all cuz of me! I think I can get them together by my next birthday, which would be great!...if I could remember when it was...  
  
Big Sister will remember, though. She always remembers important stuff for me.   
  
Nate said it'll be a while before we can go back to the park. I think walking makes him tired or something. I told him he needed more exercise, and he only smiled and said, "Maybe I do, Del."  
  
Since Nate was so tired, Big Sister said we should leave him alone. I didn't want to leave, but she said that Big Brother will watch out for Nate while he's asleep, so I said okay. Then we went to Big Sister's house, and I got to play with her fishies! They're not as nice as mine, but I like them, anyway.  
  
I don't know if Big Brother likes Nate, though. He's scary sometimes, and Big Sister says it's because he has a stressful life. But she says never to forget that he loves us and that he's really a good person. I think she's right, cuz he's almost always nice to me when I visit him. But he's got sad eyes. Not as sad as Big Sad Sister, though. She's got the saddest eyes ever. Big Pretty Sister says it's cuz of the job, but I dunno.  
  
Anyway, I have to go. I should be in bed, and Big Sister says we have to visit Big Smart Brother in the morning. She needs to ask him some stuff about Nate, I think. I guess I'll just sit and watch them. Big Smart Brother uses too many words I don't understand. Besides, Big Sister will tell me anything I need to know about Nate. At least, I hope she will.  



End file.
